My Ring

The ring 💍 symbolises commitment, togetherness, union , loyalty , love , shared responsibilities and above all, a team ! It is meant to bring together two individuals together for so many reasons . But For many , the ring has turned into a baggage (I am sure everyone has their justifying reasons) ! But for me , it’s been state of pride . It’s not we don’t have our cat-mouse situations but by large , I see a man who takes pride in my success and who takes joy in wildness . It took me ages to believe that it is indeed true and he means it in full ness. Well! My unbelief was rooted in the societal picturisarion of “husbands “.

I wouldn’t deny that we are different from “traditional couples”. It took a lot of work and multiple times of choosing each other amongst all odds. Something’s I learned along the way and being at a place of proudly married some take aways , that could possibly help someone (maybe or not) :

1. We accept each other as individuals: loving each other and being married makes us one but not literally one. We are two people with independent thoughts and minds who has consciously decided to take the path together. Well! He sees me as an individual and then has his wife
2. Respect : of 30 days , 10 days can easily go without love. ( just two individuals passing ways ) , but at all points we ensure both are treated with respect. Times when arguments becomes heated, and it’s likely to slip, it’s important to bounce back
3. Sharing dreams: I am ambitious and sometimes aggressive about it. It took a while to accept that. So is Jeff. That helps , because he understand the concept of “purpose” “vision” future etc. as couples it’s important to share each others dreams. even if it doesn’t make complete sense , it’s important accept it. And support. We take pride in each others success and we share our stories. Ofcourse it may not sensed it’s ok
4. Sharing baggages : Some of us walk into a marriage with unresolved baggages. Just as much as it is important to keep it away, sometimes it is this very marriage that can help to keep it away. Your spouse is not obliged to carry it for you, but if you can find someone to unload it with you, wuhuuu you have found your soul mate!!
5. Agree to disagree : being poles apart, there are humangous things we disagree on . But we have some ground rules of non interference and ensures we match on fundamental principles that doesn’t effect family as a unit.
6. Ready to work: marriage is a lot of work. It takes investment of energy? Effort to know the other person, to let go, choosing the same person everyday . Its is work.
7. Keeping external forces out: we have “no entry “policy into our closed circle no matter how close family or friends they are. They only take the role of audience and no active role unless it’s guest appearance. That helps because no one else interprets our conversations . We have began to prioritise each other .
8. Prayer :This is a game changer!1. Agreements or disagreements , this is what holds us together. Personally a lot of my bestest happened after marriage , professionally and personally. So there is still hope in the institution of marriage ( for those who are ready to invest and work in it )